


Make It Stop

by GoldStarGrl



Category: Psych
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Shawn uses sex to make his brain shut up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 06:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1334920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldStarGrl/pseuds/GoldStarGrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It can be hell in Shawn's head, sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make It Stop

The ADD makes it worse.

Other people whose parents have trained them to be hyper-observant lunatics might find it easier to concentrate because their Attention Deficit Disorder isn't demanding they pay attention to everything all at once. 

Every sight, every sound, every bat of the eyelashes.

Shawn doesn't really have anyone to compare notes with.

. . .

Sometimes he feels like he's stuck on a subway.

Everything is rushing by him, hundreds of images and details so fast, too fast.

He runs up and down the aisle, stands on the sticky seats, tries to process everything being thrown at him.

It's far, far more than what a normal person sees.

It's not fair that it's more.

It's hurting him.

. . .

"Gus, don't be the ending of _High School Musical Two."_

He knows they don't make sense.

All his silly jokes and similes and references.

They're just the static. 

What comes out when every alarm in his head is blaring and four thousand details are each vying for his attention, each taking ahold of a piece of him and tugging him away from himself until he rips apart.

He can barely see straight, of course he's not going to make an accurate reference to the Goonies. 

It's just the most cohesive thing that can make it out of his mouth.

To make them think he's together, that he's all there in the attic.

They know he's not, though.

They've always known.

And Lord do they try to help.

. . .

Gus is predictable.

Almost businesslike. He'll take Shawn by the hands and pull him down to the couch when he can see the sirens are getting too much.

_It's all right, man. I'm right here. I've got you._

He presses his thumbs to Shawn's wrists and kisses him, long, slow and silent, until his pulse slows down to normal.

. . .

Juliet is sweet.

He starts to blink out, too much coming at him at once and she'll react so nicely. 

Laying a warm blanket over the couch, peppering his throat and face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings in his ears as they go.

_I love you. You're OK. You're so kind and wonderful. You're still in control. I love you._

His heartbeat starts to match the rhythm of her words.

. . .

Lassiter is rough.

Shawn's back aches as it folds up against the underside of the tin desk, though that's nothing compared to his head and eyes, overstuffed with colors and figures running together into a soup of nonsense.

More pain, too, in the words coming from Lassiter's mouth.

Low and growling in between rough kisses, long spindly fingers clawing at Shawn's buttons, pulling his shirt from his body.

_How dare you act like this. You are so damn good at what you do. Be proud, Spencer. You're one in a million. Pull it together. Pull it together right now. You're too special to fall apart, you idiot._

He's in a world of metal as his heart is pressed against the gun strapped to Lassiter's chest.

. . .

"Make it stop." He begs tearfully as his best friend of thirty years tries for the umpteenth time to do so.

. . .

"Make it stop." He groans as the woman he loves takes his body, but can't touch his mind.

. . .

"Make it stop." He growls to a man who berates and humiliates him every chance he gets, and who knows what it means to fall apart like no one else.

. . .

Gus can't.

Jules can't.

Lassie can't.

No one ever can.

Especially not him.

Even Shawn Spencer's mind can't solve a problem it created.

Even Shawn Spencer can't make it stop.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are like warm chocolate chip cookies that don't fall apart in your hands; Rare and much appreciated.


End file.
